I can't wait until the Pasadena Half is over with. It's not that the anticipation is killing me. It's that I'm tired. I'm tired of thinking of runs. I'm tired of thinking of times. I'm tired of the planning. And I just want it to be over and done with.

I don't know how to keep up the enthusiam. How do you keep up your enthusiam? Give me the secrets and insights into this. Is it just that I just need to look at this in a different way? I'm struggling but I don't know how to change it.

And I seem to be retreating into a hibernate mode. This weekend I spent relaxing, reading, ahhh the quiet, etc since Dave was in Oregon. And I was happy for it all. My dinner was on Saturday was I looked in the fridge, decided I didn't want to go out to get something, so I had some cheese. Later I had some crackers. Later I looked in the fridge and found some chicken to make. No planning-just threw whatever together. It felt good to do nothing! To be by myself, do whatever I wanted, or do absolutely nothing. Not have to consider anyone else. Oh, wait, I'm digressing or changing course. No-the quiet was good for my soul and was completely different than the other feeling of reclusiveness.

So, my friends, I'm not socializing as much due to my state of mind. It's not personal. Well not in that way. It's just me. After the Half and after the start of spring and the days getting longer, I'll come out of hibernation before training for the Maui Half Marathon.

Footnote: The above was written before I went to bootcamp last night. After bootcamp, I'm feeling a bit better mentally. They say exercising is good for the mental state. I agree, even though its so hard to get there. Gotta remember that what is good for me isn't necessarily what I want to do. At least not at that moment. Trust me. If I had my way last night, I would have stayed home and curled up in a ball and just be. But Dave wanted to go and I am a lemming so I went. And yes it's good for me.

The run that shouldn't be...and wasn't

I planned to do a long run this morning...13 miles if I felt good, 10 if I didn't. That was the plan....

#1) Last night Boo decided she missed Dave. She decided she was going to wait up for him to return, and that since she was up, I should be. She'd paw me...I'd get her to stop and lay down...she'd get up and lick me and nudge me with her COLD WET nose....I'd get her to lay down...she'd get up and paw me...this went on some time past 1:00 AM. So my 7:00 am start time was delayed until 8:00. Not a deal breaker at this point.

#2) About mile 2, going up Santa Anita, my right knee started to bother me. I stopped, stretched, ran, stopped, stretched. OK. Still not bad.

#3) At Santa Anita & Mtn Trail, just past 3 miles, I remembered I didn't grab my shot blocks like I wanted. Opps. No carbs. Change in plans and cut it short to 7 miles. I'll just go to Kerstings and then return home. Then I can do another run tonight...maybe 10 miles or more? This may work out better. I was thinking if I did 13 miles in the AM, I would be trashed for the rest of the day and I have alot planned (well at least in my mind) that needs to get done this weekend. If I cut my morning run, I'll have more energy in the day, do what I have to, and then can get trashed tonight on a longer run. Hey...this will work out! When given lemons....

#4) So here's the possible deal breaker. See the photo? Can't miss it, right? Well I felt like I had a little rock or stick in my shoe. Don't know how but that's how it felt. At around 4.5 mile, I stopped and shoved my finger into my shoe to get it out. Didn't want to get a blister and whatever was in my shoe wasn't moving. I coudn't find anything so I kept going. At mile 4.75 it just wasn't going away! I stopped and this time took my shoe off to investigate. No rock found. No stick found. Only a little fuzzball from my "specifically designed for running" wool sock where it has a change in knitting pattern and thickness. Oh...and a blister forming. There's no way that little fuzzball could have caused a blister, could it? Think....should I keep running since I have to get home either way...or should I stop and walk and have less of a blister when I get home. If it's the sock, should I take it off? Eww. I've never run without socks. Don't like the feeling.

So I decided to walk...Until Mile 6 when I couldn't stand it anymore. This was just taking too long to get home. Not like I'm lightning fast when I run at my 12 MM pace, but walking was just tooooo slllooooowwww. Off came the sock and a quicker pace for the next mile.

My 13 mile run turned into 7 miles with 1 mile of walking and a blister. Well, and I REALLY can't believe I'm going to say this, this beats staying in bed and sleeping in on a beautiful Saturday morning.