I'm having a hard time getting motivated for anything. It's been non-stop since, well, Mt Wilson training in Feb. The really hectic time seemed to start mid-June. First the marathon training started, overlapping the AR training and planning, overlapping Dave's boys coming down south for the summer turning our lives, our limited space, our privacy, and schedules upside down. Whew. Where to start? Where to go? Where? What? When? Have you ever felt like you were pulled into 15 different directions and just can't control anything? Can't breathe? Can't think? Can't hear? And poor Dave's life is even more hectic since they are his boys and he has to deal with them more.
Now that the AR training and planning is over, I just want to STOP! I want to stop and rest. Stop and relax. Stop and just have some quiet. JUST STOP AND HAVE SOME CALM IN MY LIFE!
I remember the times, before I found bootcamp, where my summer nights were spent at the Hollywood Bowl and John Anson Ford theater. When the weekends were waking up and making breakfast with a mimosa, then maybe a trip to the museum. There was plenty of time for movies, concerts, weekends in Santa Barbara or in Laguna. I could sit and read a book. How different my life is now. That calm has been taken over with training for (fill in the blank).
I know this isn't good. I have to continue working out. I have to continue training but the motivation isn't there. I usually get this way at the end of the year when it gets dark early and the holidays consume everything. This is summer and with all the daylight I should want to be outside moving, outside running, outside biking, just outside moving. But for now I will fight the urge to curl up in a ball and lay in bed for days.
I feel like my life parallels Koyaanisqatsi (Hopi for Life out of Balance). It's a movie-check it out.
Maybe tomorrow I'll get my running shoes on and do a few mile. I think that's what I was supposed to do tonight for the marathon schedule. Well it's not to late. Maybe, just maybe I'll run tonight, when it's dark and quiet.
